For many years, I experienced bouts of depression, thinking life was hard, and I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to be here in this body. I seldom felt fulfilled. I was always ‘wanting more’. Several years ago, I was listening to Wayne Dyer and he mentioned most people live with the ‘Disease of More.’ Gosh, I felt like he said that for me. It was an ‘AHA’ moment!

I began to look at myself… how my life had been and how it looked to me in the present moment. Yep, I seldom felt that my life was enough. I stressed myself out by seeking ‘more’ in the future. Thinking the future would bring my peace and happiness. The joke was on me, because all I found was that this was an infinite falsehood I was telling myself. When the future became now, I still wasn’t fulfilled. I had to seek and do more. It took a toll on my physical health and well-being.

One day I realized I had to stop, get still, and commit to being happy with ‘what is’ no matter what. When I lived in the present, I realized life was ‘good’ in the moment. I had my health. I had shelter, food, water, and all the basics. No matter what life brought, I could remember to be grateful for what I did have.

By accepting and loving what I have, I have reduced my addiction to wanting more. I became addicted to wanting more which caused me pain and suffering. I had lost my way, so to speak, I had forgotten to appreciate what I had. I had decided that I and my life were not enough. I couldn’t ever get enough or be enough. Thus my low self esteem developed. No wonder I became depressed, thought life was hard, and was not sure I wanted to live in this body. I understood that I was responsible for my thoughts and beliefs. It was time to change. I suffered in past thoughts and I panicked with fearful thoughts of ‘wanting more.’